Bargain Comic Reviews

New Reviews of Old Comics

Marvel Two-In-One #78 (Aug. 1981)


Purchase price: $1

I forgot about this story almost as soon as I finished reading it a few days ago, so I had to read it again before I could write this review.  If you’re scoring at home, that’s double the waste of time.  I bought this issue because I’ve always been a fan of Wonder Man, even when he had that horrible multi-colored green, orange and yellow costume, but it would take a lot more than Wonder Man to make this a good read.

“Monster Man!” was written by Tom DeFalco and David Michelinie with art by Ron Wilson and Chic Stone.  ABC has a new super-hero show starring a character who looks and acts an awful lot like The Thing, but has a different name.  Of course the real ever lovin’ blue eyed Thing isn’t thrilled about this especially since his buddy Simon Williams (Wonder Man) is inside the main character’s costume.  The show’s producer turns out to be Xemnu the Titan who once fought the Defenders (in issues #3 and #12 for those who care).  Wonder Man gets hypnotized into being a bad guy, which leads to Clobberin’ Time when The Thing is about to discover the trick camera being used in the show.  Pages and pages of fight scenes show Wonder Man and The Thing laying waste to studios, props and some vegetables; yes, The Thing fights an animated vegetable team called the Lethal Legumes which consist of a celery stalk, a tomato and a carrot none of which are actually a legume.  As you can image this leads to some (less than) witty repartee.   Eventually this exercise in torture ends when The Thing throws Wonder Man into the trick camera smashing it into many pieces, breaking his trance.  *phew*

Sadly, the most enjoyable part of this comic is the Lethal Legumes.  I’m hoping someone revives them for a mini-series or one shot, with the caveat that a green bean of some variety join to give just the slightest bit of truth to their name.

I’ve read two issues of Marvel Two-In-One and the prognosis for future issues is not promising.  The first one with Iceman was mediocre at best and this one was downright boring.  Do they write these stories with a target audience in mind, or did they just want to flood the market with as much material as they could churn out figuring if Marvel publishes it, fan-boys will buy it?  It’s amazing to think this title lasted as long as it did with such insipid stories.  Yes, this is a short review, but it’s difficult to find something to write about with such a boring comic as a basis.  If it was god awful bad I would be able to find something to make fun of through the use of lame jokes, but quite frankly this story is so pathetically dull I just can’t muster the creative energy; it’s like this comic has sucked all the life from me.  I believe I have one more Marvel Two-In-One (with The Beast) floating around in my to-read pile.  I’m not looking forward to it.

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This entry was posted on May 11, 2012 by in Comic Book Review, Comics, Marvel and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , .
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